Where are you Train?
by JokersAceInTheHole
Summary: Catching Creed had been one thing, putting him behing bars, another. Him dying? That wasn't in the plans. T for sexual references
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Train captured Creed before he'd barely met any of the Apostles of the Stars, Echidna is dead from the fight that left Creed in the jail cell in which he currently resides. Creed is writing letters to the only person he has ever thought of-Train, but as his mind deteriorates does he become- saner? All he wants is to see Train one last time…

Pairing: obviously Creed/Train

Genre: not to good with this but I'd guess Tragedy and Romance

Warnings: Hmm… mentions of slash and references to sexuality

Heartnet-

Did you think that locking me up would keep you from me? I ask train because I can still feel you here with me. Not the you now, no you have been poisoned by that witch and are still unable to throw off her curse even though I have rescued you from her influence. No Train, I can feel you as you used to be, a feral black cat with chilling amber eyes. I can still remember how things used to be – Hades flashing in the air, cold angry eyes and chilling speed and accuracy. I can still feel the ecstasy seeing the beautiful kills and the elegant efficiency that you are capable of. I know you still feel it for we are far more alike than you would ever care to admit to anyone, let alone yourself.

You are wasted my dear Heartnet, as a sweeper you can never feel the dark dangerous blood that pricked at your senses and once drove you to kill so mercilessly but now only drives me. You are still a black cat, a stray albeit, and as such you demand respect and I shall honor that as I shall honor you train. Chronos used you and I know very well that that pushed you away from them but I would cherish your beauty and power, not seek to use it but beseech it's assistance. You Train, are perfection, the way your amber eyes gleam murderously, the way you scare grown men witless and the way your chocolate brown hair whips around your face as though a gale was blowing around you and your voice- oh Train! Your voice is so filled with anger and determination that it sends chills down my spine and that, if only that is why we are destined to be together, to rule together, and to rid this world of pretentious fools like Sephiria and her ideals of 'sacrificing the freedom of some for the freedom of all'- it is quite honestly preposterous to the highest degree.

If you join me Train, everything will be different. All will be under us Train, they will cower before your might and grovel at your feet in hopes that, maybe, you will notice them, or even cast eyes on them for half a moment. You will be a god in this new world and I will rule with you, cherish you, **worship** you.

If only that witch hadn't cursed you so thoroughly! Then maybe you would see the light and join me and the apostles of the stars in our quest to free the world of Chronos' power- besides it would show fools like that idiot dreadful-shot of a marksman I have swayed. I need **you**Train! Only you! My plans will never come to completion without your abilities and opinions.

Oh Train! Why have you not awoken from that dreadful curse? Why can't you see the deep connection we share? The pure devotion I have for you and your ability? If I could sigh through a letter I would be but I know that you will sway to my side if only after reading this- if you ever do.

I dream of you Train, every night, sometimes everything will be like they used to be, your beautiful figure with the delectable expression you wear when you execute a perfect kill, your long black assassin's cloak billowing out behind you as you leap down onto an unsuspecting victim, Hades, your wonderful, beautiful weapon, glittering in the gun-smoke as you emotionlessly deter everyone in your path and those seven addictively poisonous words that you whisper before the final gunshot, "I've come to deliver some bad luck."

Recently however, the dreams of you have been nightmares. Nightmares of you in your funny coat, and that strange collar- I always wonder why a stray cat would wear a collar. The other three are there too, the disgusting woman-loving green haired man that always wears the suits and possesses the future sight. The young nano-machine blonde child who always fights with you and the purple haired thief that always seems to get in your way and teases you so mercilessly. Why Train? Why do you continue to stay with those that are so obviously disturbed?

Do you hate me Train? I always wondered but after these dreams, where you laugh so happily and seem so at ease, I have been forced to confront it. Thinking it over I became so enraptured in you that I have written your number everywhere in this tiny cell, XIII, XIII, XIII. Why won't it get out of my head! Why won't you save me Train? Why do you insist on following the path that witch led you on? Why Train?

I have scratched my arms and neck and face raw and given myself various bruises from the more and more frequent outbursts of agony and pain that your absence creates. I need you here train. I must have you here with me. I miss feeling your soft skin on my hands, your soft hair slipping through my fingertips, and the way your lips twitch into a semblance of a smile when you used to look at me. I need you in my arms Train! You believe that I can live here in this cell small enough to suffocate me until I waste away just thinking about you?

I know I will if you only ask, which is why I never did. I might be strong, I might not seem sensitive, but I have emotions and they are as easily hurt as yours. I was never strong enough to ask you Train, because the possibility of you actually wanting me to Rot was too heart wrenching for me to bear.

Sitting in this musky, dark, achingly silent cell I had an epiphany and I realized why I always felt the need to touch you, to watch you and even, no matter how strange this may sound, to ravish you. You are everything I wish I was and everything I desire. I love that about you. Yes Train, I, Creed Diskenth, am in love with the beautiful, notorious, black cat.

Forever to be yours,

Creed Diskenth


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I forgot to do this last chapter I think, anyways, I don't own Black Cat.

Train put his pen to the paper then hesitated, his hand hovering over the sheet of paper. This was foolish. Creed was dead. Creed. Was. Dead. There was nothing he could do about it. So why, why did he have the need to talk to him. He could hear Sven trying to get into his room again but he ignored him. This didn't have anything to do with the older sweeper.

He licked his lips nervously.

_Dear Creed,_

His lips quirked up as he paused there. Creed would have loved to hear him call him that. It had always been that way- ever since he had moved in with the man when he was still new to Chronos.

_How have you been?_

Oh dear god, was that seriously what he wanted to say first?

_Well, I guess that's a stupid question seeing as you're_

Train paused, rubbing at his eyes as he felt an unfamiliar itching behind them, making them water.

_Dead. I'm not sure I can honestly say I miss you. _

He knew that was a lie. He needed Creed, in a way he couldn't quite identify, he was always there with his horrible fashion and his determination to 'turn' Train to the 'right side'.

_Alright, since you can't read this I guess I'll be honest. I miss you. A lot. So much that if you were a live you would have swooned- don't even deny it. I might have been clueless back then but now I know exactly how much your obsession and hatred of Saya stemmed from jealousy._

For some reason thinking of Saya didn't hurt so much anymore, he didn't have the same strong burning of anger for Creed when he thought of her either.

_I don't hate you for killing Saya anymore. Do you hate me now Creed? Was my action of condemning you to prison too cruel for someone who would rather death? I suppose you got death either way. Look at me now Creed, left to poking at dead people after you died. Would you still be ashamed of me? Would you say 'the curse is finally broken'? _

_I have so many questions for you Creed, so many questions that can never be answered. What would you have done if I had joined the Apostles of the Stars? After Echidna's death you would have stabbed me then had Doctor heal me up for punishment. But before? What did you want from me Creed? Were you really so obsessed with me because of my strength, my apathy that I have long since abandoned, my looks? What am I really to you?_

Train let the pen fall from his fingers as her buried his head in his hands. This was too much, far far too much for him to handle right now. He knew though, that now was the _only_ time he would be able to handle it. He needed to grieve for his rival, his partner, his one time friend.

With shaky hands he picked up the pen again.

_And what am I supposed to do without you?_

There, he'd written it. He watched the paper for a moment.

_I feel like I've betrayed you- though I wasn't the one who started the hostility between us. I just can't believe all that strife, all that fighting, was caused because a girl a fancied for a month. I half wonder if you were the one who caused me to become something different but I know you wouldn't see it that way. _

_I can't abandon the life I have made, I know it and I understand it but you always tempted me so!_

Train stood abruptly and flung the pen down. Furious for admitting it even in writing. He paced furiously for a few seconds then looked at his letter. It wasn't like anyone would read it anyways. And if he was going to be honest he might as well be completely honest.

_You always used to frighten me. Did you know that? The people around me would always whisper about how I must have been insane to become a number at eighteen. In my mind, someone who wasn't even a number and could best me was frightening. That was why I clung to you so. Because you were something to rely on, you were the strength I could never achieve._

_I remember one night._

He stopped writing his mind flickering back.

_I woke you from a nightmare and only barely stopped myself from getting decapitated. You were shaking like a leaf. I remember your eyes. They were so frightened, so animalistic that I found myself offering my company. You seemed shocked at my offer but allowed me entrance into your room. That night was… eye opening to say the least. That was probably what made me realize you weren't as perfect as I had portrayed you in my mind. _

Train stopped and took a deep breath.

_For some reason it made me love you all the more. _

_Was that why you killed her? Because I no longer went to your bed when I needed someone? Because you felt as though you were being replaced? _

_If that was the case I have done nothing but reinforce that when I fought so hard to avenge her. I was hurt, so badly hurt, when I saw your marksman. Is it stupid to feel like you had replaced me? Is that what you felt like when I met Saya?_

He threw down the pen and retreated to his bed, staring at the ceiling. The itching feeling was back and as the salt water fell down he caught it and stared at it. Was he… crying? Another drop fell and traveled down to his cheek before he caught that one as well. Why now? Was this really that pressing for him?

Was admitting what he had held so secret for so long making him this emotional?

He turned on his side, staring at the paper sitting innocently on his desk. Slowly he got up.

_I don't know why I'm writing this but I have a feeling you would have wanted to know these things. Maybe just putting them on paper was what I needed. Maybe._

_Am I weak for crying over your death? Would you have preferred I didn't?_

_I guess I'll never know now._

_Train Hear_

Train paused. If this letter was really going to Creed_... _He crossed out his name.

_Black Cat_

Well, I wasn't planning on continuing this but the reviewer _Trainsgirl13_ brought up this idea and I was happy to oblige. Sorry it's not all the letter.


End file.
